lately: my heart.

 i stumbled across this song one night when it was just what i needed, and i've been listening to it on repeat, and thinking through the lyrics since then.  with un finished wedding plans, school pressing in on me in all of my weakest spots, and a summer full of unknowns, I've found myself, well... not being myself.  sure, i've always been a worrier.  i was the friend that always said "what if we get in trouble?" or "i don't think our parents would be happy..."  i always analyze, make lists, but recently i've found myself almost paralyzed by the decisions in front of me.  with all of these up-coming decisions, i've been gripped by my anxiety.  my chest hurts, my stomach threatens to return my lunch, and all i want to do is curl up and go back to bed where no decisions need to be made. or just cry.  that usually happens too.  i've been trying to handle all of this messy life stuff on my own, and frankly it's just. not. working.  i selfishly pushed God out of my everyday tasks and decisions thinking "i can totally handle this" and "God doesn't care what color my table linens are at my wedding reception."  well i (clearly) can't handle it on my own. God might not exactly care about my color choices, but he does care for me.  while all of these decisions are mine to make, i do have a God who cares for me and wants the best for me. he wants to steady my heart, if only i learn to trust that he is in control. 

procrastination.

this is what it looks like.  if you were wondering.
i must get back to studying. and writing. and reading. but sometimes you really just need to stop and braid your hair. and take lots and lots of pictures on photobooth.

tomorrow is friday!!  (which means i will be wedding dress shopping!!!!!!!! yay!)

bye lovelies.

a showering.

this past weekend I threw a bridal shower for my best girlfriend, lauren.
for the past 2 months i've been trying to figure out how to do this whole bridesmaid thing.
coordinating all of the other bridesmaids, moms, aunts, and all of the other shenanigans that comes with a wedding. man!  talk about being fed to the wolves.  I guess I've got to start somewhere!  this is just the first of many weddings to come.
we had wooden spoons for guests to write their marriage advice on, wedding vow mad-libs (which were hilarious!!) and had a contest for making toilet paper wedding dresses.

i'll let these pictures do the rest of the talking :) (sorry for the photo dump!)

me, haley(bride's little sister), lauren(the bride), janina, sarah(future sister-in-law ), and karen(cousin).

now.. time to plan bachelorette party, and get this girl married!
have you been to any bridalshowers or bachelorette parties lately?? what are your favorite games/activites?

one month

....until school starts. ugh. don't even want to think about it.
not wanting to think about it, i had a dream about it! not cool, ok dreams?

at the beginning of every summer my brain starts reeling with to-do lists, and everything I want to accomplish during the whirlwind of a summer coming up.
i never write the list, just keep it jumbled in my head.
i might be afraid that if i write it out, i'll see it months later and fee like a slacker.
i almost never accomplish everything on that said list. i know, very unfortunate.
this summer, however, i am wishing i wrote out my summer list, because (pay attention)
i'm actually doing things! 
there's a first for everything people.

currently i am putting the finishing touches on tons of little crafties for my bestie's bridal shower, there is a first coat of paint on my bathroom walls, i am heading out today to buy diy supplies to finish off that bathroom of mine.  it doesn't sound like a whole lot, but inbetween working, and trying to relax a little, i'm feeling quite accomplished lately.
i hate to say that boyfriend being gone has upped my productivity, but it might have. (sorry, boyfriend) but when he comes home in 12 days (count it! twelve days!!!!), there will be the opposite effect. and i'm ok with it :)

here's a little sneak-peek of the color happening in my bathroom!  i'm over the moon excited! (my bathroom has been white for 23 years, guys. bo-ring!)
and we like to get a little silly when we do projects around the house. gotta have some fun! :)

do you make summer lists?? if so, what's on yours this time around?

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side note!!!(per boyfriend's request)  that little note on the was was to boyfriend, he got the first look at the color ;)

Tonight I enjoyed catching up with an old friend.  We met when we were in 5th grade at Pioneer Girls, a christian Girl Scouts held at my church and became instant best friends... I loved spending the weekends at her house because she had lots of brothers and sisters running around.  I even looked like them.  We loved it when people would ask if we were sisters. We would share a glance, usually giggle, and let them believe we actually were sisters.
We were obsessed with country music together, especially Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.  We even made our own music videos to our favorite songs. 

Over the years we've grown apart, grown up, gone to school, and have grown together again.   Nothing is better than sitting across the table from this girl sharing a plate of sushi and catching up on our changing grown-up lives.  

Love you Dee!