birthday kinda day.

well.  today i'm pretending it's my birthday.  lazy morning. wedding research  pinterest stalking. i might even go get my hair cut(because it's been about a million years.) and lunch with my mom followed by a little bit of shopping.  ok, maybe a lot of shopping ;)

she's in school, you say.  why is she pretending it's her birthday, when she probably has 897098234 on her to do list?  

i'll tell you why.  

tomorrow i have clinical.  with psychiatric patients. the kind that have tried to kill them selves just days before, possibly more than once.  other ones who are so depressed they couldn't get out of bed for 3 months.  some patients are just plain crazy and talk to them selves, or yell rude things at the female nurses. and tomorrow, the day that i am with the aforementioned crazies, is my real-not-pretend birthday.  

school on your birthday... no big deal. it happens to everyone born between september and june.  but an 8 hour school day where you're locked(yes. locked in, like you're a patient yourself) on a psychiatric ward with people are cray-zee is hardly they way i've ever pictured my birthday.  seriously guys.  this place makes me want to cry when i walk on the unit.  my palms start sweating, and my heart all but jumps out of my chest and runs back out into the hospital lobby, and i fear the unknown.  my thoughts on why i will never be a good psychiatric nurse are for another post, another day.  

but seriously.  i am dreading tomorrow. i wish i could somehow fast forward to 4:15 when i am allowed to leave the unit.  i will be counting the minutes! 

but until then...

today is the day.  before the day. my pre-birthday :) 

(where the only crazy person is me.  because i'm planning a wedding.  and in school.  heaven help me.)

wedding pinspiration

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...wedding fever over here...

today we put a deposit down for our venue/date. 

not loving the pressure of the decision, but i am so excited to be married!!

i thought i would just share a little of my wedding excitement with you today.

happy monday, friends.

because it's thursday.

here's an oldie but goodie.  

this is one of my favorite pictures of me and the boyfriend fiance ;)  

I still need to get used to saying it! 

hope you have a great thursday!  the weekend is almost here! hang in there :) 

procrastination.

this is what it looks like.  if you were wondering.
i must get back to studying. and writing. and reading. but sometimes you really just need to stop and braid your hair. and take lots and lots of pictures on photobooth.

tomorrow is friday!!  (which means i will be wedding dress shopping!!!!!!!! yay!)

bye lovelies.

faaaaling.

happy fall!!  

this is my absolutely, positively favorite season.  God shows his handiwork in some pretty amazing ways, and the crisp cool air makes bon fires and hot tea at night a welcome treat.  oh, not to mention apples are pretty darn tasty!  fall reminds me of family, the excitement of winter, and God's goodness and creativity.(and my birthday is in the fall. who doesn't love birthdays?) 

I. LOVE. FALL. 

confessions.

i hate shoe shopping.  i know i know, how can i be a girl (a girly girl at that) and not loooove shoe shopping, you ask?  it probably isn't what you're thinking though.  it's not that i don't like shoes.  i love them!  but i love them so much that i want everything, and can't pick just one (or two or 3 pairs.)  so, my wardrobe and i have come to a cross roads.  i survived last fall/winter season without buying new shoes, but the time has come to replace some of my shoes.
this is where you come into the picture.  what's the one pair of shoes you're excited to slip into this coming season?!  new, or all time favorite-can't-live-without pair...

now that i've exposed a little bit of my crazy...

this is a pair i'm currently contemplating. what do you think?

he+she

he told her to be ready at 5.
she curled her hair, and slipped into her red dress.
she was so looking forward to this date with him.
(he just came home from africa 2 days earlier)

at 5 pm, a knock on her door.  not his car, but a town car was parked in her driveway.  she got very nervous and her mom had to convince her that it was ok...
the driver handed her an envelope that said "Number One."  the envelope contained a note that explained how sorry he was for being gone for 6 weeks in africa, again, and served as the first clue in her scavenger hunt.
number one sent her to the park where she first heard him say "i love you." in the exact spot was a red balloon waiting for her with "Number Two."  there was yet another heartfelt note recalling specific moments of that perfect spring day two years ago, and another clue.
number two sent her to the top of the parking garage, where they had their very awkward first kiss.  there she found two red balloons and "Number Three" attached.
so far, each note has made her heart race, and eyes well up.  she keeps hoping he will come out from his hiding spot because she just wants to be with him.
by now, she is thinking "this is the best apology. i don't know how he will top this when he proposes"
 "Number Three" sent her to the school campus where they met, and their relationship grew from friends to best friends, to soul mates.  three red balloons were in the spot where he first saw her during their first semester. (she didn't see him)
she still thinks it is the best apology to date, and is getting very anxious to see him and kiss him.
"Number Four" made her burst into tears.  the emotions, details, and love that he put into these letters is overwhelming, and she just. can't. handle. it.
she got instructions to call him, and go to the place where they had their first date (also their favorite resturant.)
he stood waiting as the car pulled up.  they hugged, kissed, and grinned until their faces hurt.  he asked her to go on a walk because "they were early for their reservation."
they walked, and talked, she just chattered mostly, because he was nervous and had a dry mouth.

she had to pee and was getting restless sitting on a bench for so long "talking." she was relieved when he finally said it was time for their dinner reservations.
but before she could get very far, he stopped her. 

he told her how much he loved her and reiterated the things he said in the notes from her scavenger hunt. Then he started talking about how ready he was to marry her. Her heart starting beating louder and louder to the point where she couldn't hear him anymore. 

he was on one knee. saying something. Is this it? Did she just hear "clancy, will you marry me?"

she cried. and replied with "of course!"  and cried some more. (she should have worn waterproof mascara!!)

They embraced and walked up the hill. at the top, she saw the photographers that had been following her the whole evening. And she cried more. 

since that wasn't already more than she could handle in one day, he asked her to turn around. And there were their parents, walking with huge grins and glistening eyes. She ran with arms open to her mom, kissed her daddy, and excitedly greeted her future mother and father-in-law the whole time fighting more tears, and showing off that new ring of hers.

The six of them walked into their favorite restaurant for a celebratory dinner.

And so started a lifetime of celebration for her and her lover. They now anxiously plan their wedding day as they dream about what the rest of their lives will look like together.