lately: my heart.

 i stumbled across this song one night when it was just what i needed, and i've been listening to it on repeat, and thinking through the lyrics since then.  with un finished wedding plans, school pressing in on me in all of my weakest spots, and a summer full of unknowns, I've found myself, well... not being myself.  sure, i've always been a worrier.  i was the friend that always said "what if we get in trouble?" or "i don't think our parents would be happy..."  i always analyze, make lists, but recently i've found myself almost paralyzed by the decisions in front of me.  with all of these up-coming decisions, i've been gripped by my anxiety.  my chest hurts, my stomach threatens to return my lunch, and all i want to do is curl up and go back to bed where no decisions need to be made. or just cry.  that usually happens too.  i've been trying to handle all of this messy life stuff on my own, and frankly it's just. not. working.  i selfishly pushed God out of my everyday tasks and decisions thinking "i can totally handle this" and "God doesn't care what color my table linens are at my wedding reception."  well i (clearly) can't handle it on my own. God might not exactly care about my color choices, but he does care for me.  while all of these decisions are mine to make, i do have a God who cares for me and wants the best for me. he wants to steady my heart, if only i learn to trust that he is in control. 

soaking up the sun

well.... i've been a little behind the 8 ball with wedding plans lately... thank you, nursing school.  

finally, we found a weekend to meet up with our wedding photographer to do a little engagement session :)  it was a gorgeous winter day in annapolis, and the only day with sun in about a week.  we were so blessed with the weather!  here are some of my favorites: 

photo dump anyone??

 (the 16 is because our wedding is on the 16th. har har)

thank you, Kyle for capturing these photos :) 

happy weekend, lovelies! 

friday letters.

hey guys!  so i've been in a major blogging funk (have i ever not been in one, is the real question , i think) and i'm gonna try some link-ups through out the week, maybe to hold me accountable?  and to hang out with some other lovely blogging ladies :)
so... here goes nothin!

dear fiance: yesterday we sat together in silence doing work in starbucks, yet somehow i loved the time we had together.  stealing glances at your handsome self intently writing e-mails made my heart flutter and made studying cardiac disorders not so terrifying.  dear weather: please, please warm up!!  or at least stop being windy.  I really hate the wind.  (but you already know that)  dear  mom:  have a great weekend away with your crazy girlfriends!  so glad you can get away and stop working every once in a while.  dear wedding:  I CANT WAIT FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm linking up with ashley over at the sweet season  she's so sweet, and preganant, and has the cutest little pup.

hasta la vista january!

i did it!  guys, i made it through januray with no body aching, throat scratching illness, and without living in my bed under the covers the whole month.  because i could.  (seriously.  i love my bed, guys) last year a barely made it out of the death grip that is called pneumonia. glad that didn't repeat it's self!
so... here's to february!!  the month of looove. and the month where school gets real tough.  and one month closer to spring!  i know i'm just rambling, but i love spring. and there are so many wonderful things happening once spring comes. (graduation, bridal showers. bachelorette parties, and so many weddingssss!)
i think the only thing that got me through january was that little trip i took with my girlfriends. to the bahamas. it was warm, lots of sun to be had, and i loved every single second of it!  and because i want to go back sooo badly, i will leave you with some pictures.

 {the captains reception. free champagne, guys!}

 {our beeeautiful ship}

{our scooter had a flat tire and we were stranded on the sidewalk}

 {i love these girls! and that water... :)}

 {my gorgeous friend. maid of honor. and soul sister.}

 {that's atlantis!}

 {i'm pretty sure we weren't supposed to be on this beach. but it sure was fuuuuun!}

 {so glad we never crashed!}

 {who wouldn't take a pit stop for a corona?!}

{until next time!} 

lately

 Hail to the Redskins! (it is sunday after all!) 

lately i've had my brain turned off... well as far as blogging goes.  i've finished my second to last semester in school, been to the bahamas, celebrated chrsitmas with my whole family, and have been buried under wedding plans. basically, blogging has been at the bottom of my list lately. and i'm ok with that.  i've enjoy the past few weeks with friends and family so much, i wouldn't want to waste any time staring at my computer screen when there's fun to be had!  once things normalize a little bit, i'll be back.
until then...
happy new year, friends :)

to add a little cheer to your monday...

aren't those kids precious?  and they're telling the best story of all time... this little video just melts my heart :) 

4 years of lovin you.

i was on campus heading to a final lab practical when the cute boy from bible study passed me in the hall way.  we chatted for a minute, sharing awkward smiles, and agreeing that we were "SO ready" for our first semester of college to be over.  he told me good luck, and that he would be in the library all day, and that i could join him ( he offered to help me study for my math final).  so obviously i met him in the library later that day... (cute boy+math help = uh, yes please!) 

well we never actually studied.  we just *silently* laughed all day, and avoided our studies (i don't know how either of us actually passed those exams!)  eventually he got me to agree to getting sushi with him.  kinda as a celebratory dinner after the semester.  i said sure. he said when. i suggested that night, after my math exam.  

i wouldn't let him pick me up (he should thank me. it bypassed my dad's interrogation)

so we met at school, and i let him drive from there.  let me tell you there was so much awkward that night!  you want an example? oh, ok.. um... here's part of our conversation--- 

me: "so what's your favorite movie?" *stuff a huge sushi roll into mouth* him: "oh, Dark Night. no question!  it's the best" *finish chewing* her: "oh, cool!  So what's your favorite movie?"  

yeah. that happened on our first date. and he still asked me on  a second date. probably just so he could be entertained by my awkwardness...  

all of that to say-- 4 years later i am still just as awkward. and just as blessed to have that cute guy in my life.  this year we're engaged. but we decided to always celebrate our "december 9th" because we want to date each other for the rest of our lives. 

i love you trev, thanks for asking me out in that smelly library, and for making me laugh better than anyone else can.

--here's to us, babe--

xoxo

{2009}

{2010}

{2011}

{2012}